since Fest X is creeping up on us like moss on a rolling stone, everyone share what unspeakable things you did last Fest.

My Fest 9 went a lil like this.

Worked 5am-3pm the day before, drove 9 hours that day only to find that i had no place to stay once in gainesville, slept in the parking lot of walmart, woke bright n early shaved off my beard (i had no idea what Fest was yet) drove downtown and parked my car and walked to registration. had 3 tallboys for breakfast in line, drank some unknown liquor with complete strangers in line, made lots of friends before i even got my wristband. realized i should have kept my beard, and that i was waay overdressed, watched larry and his flask tear it up at the pool, walked around in my undies with a beer in each hand, BLACKOUT, came to at the atlantic watching meet the feebles, the nightbirds and soviettes, BLACKOUT again, being torn between a suicide machines reunion show and a tom petty cover band, saw both, both awesome. helped spanish gamble load stuff into their van, fell asleep in my trunk.
Part 2 : Breakfast (boddingtons)at mmarket street, Fat Mike sightings, saved a guy from getting his wristband cut off, goldeneye at 1982, fell off a building (still no idea how i got up there) and subsequently got hit by an angry rednecks truck, hobbled show to show, met some amazing people, watched naked raygun the riot before and drank too many beers, changed a tire with new friends, free beers, pizza time on the parking garage, "Don't Jump!!", passed out in my car again. watched the sun rise over gainesville, went to sleep.
Part 3 : woke up and did it all again plus more free drinks and a hotel room Frank Turner show, and hanging out with foreign dudes, no Fest aids and no money.
(this is only what i remember, i know i did so much more)

Last year I--

Showed up on Friday on no sleep after a 14 hour drive only to find out that I couldn't check into my hotel room until 4pm. Lurked around the city until then, registered, got my pass, passed the fuck out until 9pm. Saw Larry and His Flask at Rum Runners and ran into friends from an Atlanta BTMI show. Saw Suicide Machines and took tits to the face from some drunk girl crowd surfing. Lost one of the friends I came with and frantically searched around until we got back to the hotel room and he was there, naked and watching It's Always Sunny.

Saturday was cool. Missed Dear Landlord because of the lines at Eight Seconds. Left. Missed Touche Amore because of the idiots at The Atlantic. Left. Ate Boca Fiesta out of rage. Saw a bunch of bands, I can't remember who. Teenage Bottlerocket was one of them. Legs seriously started to deteriorate due to my sleepless wandering the day before. Me First tore it up hilariously that night. Went back to the hotel. Heard a bass drum in the hallway at 3am and left my room to see Larry and His Flask playing in the Holiday Inn hallway. Got stoked. Got food. Had a weird conversation with the guitarist from Chotto Ghetto. Walked past an orgy happening two doors down from me.

Sunday was sick. Jeff Rosenstock and I helped a guy dressed as Cthulhu crowd surf against his will during O Pioneers!!!. It started to dawn on me that Fest was almost over so I had early post-Fest depression. Hung out at the Venue allllll day. Left for NC at like, 9pm. I didn't have Sunday night at the hotel so I really had no choice. I have five days this year though so I won't miss anything or be too tired for hijinks.

it was either Fest 7 or 8, we were playing a couple shows on the way down. we played a show in wilmington, nc with a wilhelm scream, directly after the show we had to drive to tampa to play the pre-fest there (10 hr drive). we decide it'd be a good idea to take a bunch of acid at 2am, right before the drive (we had a friend with us to DD). we were all worn out from the show so i think most of us passed out in the van before it god a chance to kick in. 7am comes around and our DD is getting heavy eyes so me and nick (other guitarist) hop in the driving chairs. we realize after a few minutes, that this acid has still not left our bodies completely. nick briefly sees into the future and we pull over into a burger king parking lot and stare at fences for an hour. we get down to tampa and our bassist casey lets us know that he's brought a tin of salvia, so what the hell, we're really early anyway. so now we're coming down off acid, guzzling cheap beer in the tampa sun, and smoking salvia. there were literally vultures circling over our van. after the salvia, i decide it's best to get in the back of our 100 degree van and completely cocoon myself in a sleeping bag (shit's scary, i honestly didn't think i was going to be able to form chords with my fingers ever again).

needless to say, everything wore off except the booze buzz, we played just fine, and started an amazing weekend by pummeling our bodies with all sorts of interesting drugs....

i ate all the pizza
i drank all the beer

ah yeah I remember this that was awesome

Fest 9:

Rode with 7 people crammed into a 4-person seater car to drive to one of the warehouse shows
Drank Faygo for the first time
actually swam in a pool for once (went 4 Fests and never got to)

Fest 6:

Walked from the Holiday Inn all the way down SW 13th to the Paint It Black/Shook Ones house show. Took about an hour.

Fest 8:

not unspeakable, but, I was a sponsor that year and it was rad!

Fest 7:

Forgot about the venue rules and stupidly left my I.D. at the hotel on day 1, thus missing a good chunk of the shows/sets I wanted to see that night

Some woman busted out her boob and shot milk at my friend then pushed me into traffic on University at Fest 8. I'm also pretty sure I gave myself a concussion when I hit my head on a building trying to help some girl out of the shopping cart I was pushing her in.
The past 3 fests I've sat next to the prettiest girl on the airplane on the way home..which would normally be real nice, but I'm usually pretty gnarly after 4 days of Pre/Festing.

Fest 7, I got stuck in the elevator at the Holiday Inn:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfQ11ENOSPY

I can die fulfilled because this happened:
http://youtu.be/sJZJAmNIMmY

someone on a lot of drugs passed out naked in my bathroom, shit on the floor, rolled in it, then rolled in the carpet, then in the chair, then in the bed. surprisingly, the holiday inn gave us back our security deposit.

I was in front of you at some show at 8 seconds and overheard you talking about this and then asked you about it. This is still the craziest story I have heard! I'm so glad they gave you the security deposit back and I hope no one got pink eye!

One time at Fest, I was at a public restroom at Boca Fiesta taking a piss while King Friday was playing and the dude next to me asked me for the size of my dick? I, as a respectful human being, told him how much I thought it measured