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< Misc. ~ trust in relationships... |
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Slazey
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Posted: Thu Nov 27, 2008 5:57 pm |
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Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2008 8:38 amPosts: 19Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
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I actually got caught cheating in my last relationship when the girl in question looked through my chat logs when I was out of the room. Soon after, she decided she felt bad about 'spying' on me and things resumed.
She dropped me a couple of months after that, though- in a way i'm kind of glad, even if I am still cut up about it. Ironically, trust is a huge deal for me and knowing that i'd commited even a minor indiscretion would have hung like the sword of Damocles over the whole relationship.
So yeah, trust people, just don't trust me. Apparently.
_________________ "Words Generally only spoil things" - Philip Roth |
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hawkgirl
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Posted: Fri Nov 28, 2008 6:37 pm |
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Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 11:27 amPosts: 1027
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I was cheated on in two diff relationships and only discovered it by snooping. Both were long distance relationships. Ditched them immediately upon discovering what I already thought to be true.
I have had a few longer term relationships since then and have never snooped or felt the need to.
If your gut is telling you that you're being lied to, you can't ignore it.
BUT
Snooping obsessively is a major problem, if that is what she is doing. No one should make her feel that insecure. That sounds like a really, really bad pattern to start so young.
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GatoRanch
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Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:08 pm |
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Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 6:16 amPosts: 4092Location: Nature Coast & Gville, FL
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Slazey wrote: So yeah, trust people, just don't trust me. Apparently.
Hahaha, well at least you are honest...sort of.
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GatoRanch
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Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:13 pm |
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Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 6:16 amPosts: 4092Location: Nature Coast & Gville, FL
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hawkgirl wrote: I was cheated on in two diff relationships and only discovered it by snooping. Both were long distance relationships.
And THAT was the problem with those relationships. I just don't do long distance anymore. Well, no more than an hour away anyway. And if you are "seeing" someone long distance don't commit until you can actually be together all the time. It just isn't realistic or healthy. Not for me anyway. I'm currently "dating" a guy in NC and we both know damn well that we are still seeing other people. But if one day we can actually live in the same town we'll make it official.
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GatoRanch
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Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:15 pm |
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Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 6:16 amPosts: 4092Location: Nature Coast & Gville, FL
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BlatantAnomaly wrote: http://www.nocheatersdate.com
Awww, what an awesome online dating community:
"I understand this community was established to help mend broken hearts and introduce people who maintain the importance of faithful relationships."
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GatoRanch
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Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:19 pm |
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Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 6:16 amPosts: 4092Location: Nature Coast & Gville, FL
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GiveBlood wrote: but I guess in a way, I'm still cheating on my first girlfriend, since we never actually broke up.
Philip, that was one of the weirdest relationship stories I have EVER heard. You guys have serious communication issues.
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Some_Kind_of_Robot
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Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 9:07 am |
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Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 5:21 pmPosts: 635Location: Second City, USA!
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I've been on both sides of cheating before. Honestly, neither are very fun. However, I think going through people's phones or MySpaces or whatever CAN boarder on a little obsessive. My fiance did that to me a couple of years ago, and I guess she had reason for suspicion, but I wasn't cheating. She is REALLY jealous of a friend of mine from Seattle for some reason...although, I guess the fact that I think I'm in love with this friend might have something to do with it. I seriously can't ever imagine myself cheating on my fiance with this friend (ok, that's a lie but I can't ever see myself actualizing said imagined cheating.) This internet snooping was also post-"break" in our relationship, that I initiated...and during said break slept with a girl that my fiance REALLY hates. So...yeah, probably justified here. None-the-less creepy and obsessive. I never claimed to have a sane fiance, or be sane myself...
I'm probably with Slazey on this one...
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pukeonthestreet
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Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 11:37 am |
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Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2006 12:47 pmPosts: 1002Location: Cranston, RI
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GatoRanch wrote: GiveBlood wrote: but I guess in a way, I'm still cheating on my first girlfriend, since we never actually broke up. Philip, that was one of the weirdest relationship stories I have EVER heard. You guys have serious communication issues. 
That's happened to me twice, when they move out of state and never call you again, you're officially broken up
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GatoRanch
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Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 1:21 pm |
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Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 6:16 amPosts: 4092Location: Nature Coast & Gville, FL
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Some_Kind_of_Robot wrote: I think going through people's phones or MySpaces or whatever CAN boarder on a little obsessive. My fiance did that to me a couple of years ago, and I guess she had reason for suspicion, but I wasn't cheating. She is REALLY jealous of a friend of mine from Seattle for some reason...although, I guess the fact that I think I'm in love with this friend might have something to do with it. I seriously can't ever imagine myself cheating on my fiance with this friend (ok, that's a lie but I can't ever see myself actualizing said imagined cheating.) This internet snooping was also post-"break" in our relationship, that I initiated...and during said break slept with a girl that my fiance REALLY hates. So...yeah, probably justified here. None-the-less creepy and obsessive. I never claimed to have a sane fiance, or be sane myself...
I can't imagine why your fiance is jealous and very untrusting of you.  If she has a "creepy and obsessive" habit I'd have to say it is because of YOUR actions. I got to be the same way because of my Ex at no fault of my own. Now I try to do much better personality research BEFORE I'm seriously with a guy.
I'm honestly amazed you are even get engaged? Doesn't sound healthy. I meet guys that are engaged all the time who confess to me that they know it isn't going to work out and yet they won't call it off. WTF?!!?
I've been the person that has hooked up with the engaged/married guy more than a few times. Mind you, I had NO IDEA he was even with anyone to begin with. The secretive personality type is NOT to be trusted. Pretty insulting to me after the fact that I'm just seen as a sex object and that I must not have any feelings or desire to be in a relationship myself.
Pretty much if a guy won't meet up with me in the daytime for lunch then he can fuck off. I don't have time for games or BS.
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alex13
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Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 4:25 pm |
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| Joined: Sat Jul 05, 2008 6:54 pmPosts: 341Location: Baton Rouge, LA
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GatoRanch wrote: The secretive personality type is NOT to be trusted.
BINGO! That's the root right fucking there. Stay away from anything that, in your gut, gives you a feeling of secrecy.
_________________ go where crows go know what crows know |
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GiveBlood
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Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 4:44 pm |
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Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2007 12:52 pmPosts: 2441Location: Gainesville, finally
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GatoRanch wrote: GiveBlood wrote: but I guess in a way, I'm still cheating on my first girlfriend, since we never actually broke up. Philip, that was one of the weirdest relationship stories I have EVER heard. You guys have serious communication issues. 
I refuse to blieve that. You must have heard some WAY weirder stories. Mor maybe I just tell stories weird.
it was little high school bullshit, not even the least bit serious. We met while on like a church retreat type thing.
The only two really serious relationships I've been both woun dup being partially long distance. With both girls, we started dating while living int he same town, then they went off to school. I could ramble on about the ins and outs of those two girlfriends (get your mind out of the gutter) but I'd either get overly dramatic or boring.
Actually, I went to the wedding of my first serious girlfriend the Saturday before Thanksgiving. Not counting her family, I knew her longer than anyone else there. She's still one of my best friends. Hell, I introduced her to guy she just married. Stung a little when they first got together, but that was years ago.
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Last edited by GiveBlood on Mon Dec 01, 2008 5:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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GatoRanch
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Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 4:57 pm |
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Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 6:16 amPosts: 4092Location: Nature Coast & Gville, FL
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GiveBlood wrote: GatoRanch wrote: GiveBlood wrote: but I guess in a way, I'm still cheating on my first girlfriend, since we never actually broke up. Philip, that was one of the weirdest relationship stories I have EVER heard. You guys have serious communication issues.  I refuse to blieve that. You must have heard some WAY weirder stories. Mor maybe I just tell stories weird.
OK let me rephrase that. The weird part was that: How did you think you could still be in a relationship.
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GiveBlood
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Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 5:02 pm |
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Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2007 12:52 pmPosts: 2441Location: Gainesville, finally
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Jana doesn't get jokes.
EDIT- or maybe I don't
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GatoRanch
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Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 5:09 pm |
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Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 6:16 amPosts: 4092Location: Nature Coast & Gville, FL
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GiveBlood wrote: Jana doesn't get jokes.
EDIT- or maybe I don't
OK, just reread your last post again. How on earth would I know that that whole bit earlier was a joke...or wasn't a "serious relationship". Or whatever you were saying. It just wasn't coming across that way. I have known people that really believe they have a boyfriend/girlfriend after one date. People are screwy about that shit.
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GiveBlood
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Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 5:30 pm |
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Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2007 12:52 pmPosts: 2441Location: Gainesville, finally
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GatoRanch wrote: GiveBlood wrote: Jana doesn't get jokes.
EDIT- or maybe I don't OK, just reread your last post again. How on earth would I know that that whole bit earlier was a joke...or wasn't a "serious relationship". Or whatever you were saying. It just wasn't coming across that way. I have known people that really believe they have a boyfriend/girlfriend after one date. People are screwy about that shit.
but come on, do I seriously seem like the type who would think I was dating a girl I haven't spoken to in 10 years?
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