So I'm not in a relationship and haven't really been in one for about 2.5 years...but after visiting family, I found out that my little sister is casually dating a guy and she is getting kind of crazy. She checks his cell phone and calls the numbers he's called, hacks his myspace, etc...

My thing is, I would NEVER do this. If I was with a guy where I felt the need to do this, that means that I do not trust him and would end it there. There must be trust, yes? I tried to tell her that if there was some inkling where you felt the need to invade his privacy then it probably isn't a healthy relationship, whether he was dating someone else or not. Plus, they never claimed to be exclusive...

So would you or have any of you ever invaded the privacy of your significant other or someone you are dating? Fess up, I'm sure there is more than one person that acted like an idiot while young...I accidentally went into an ex's email, but when I realized it wasn't mine I clicked out of it and told him.

I like using an ellipsis...

anyway, just figured I'd start a different kind of thread because I like you people.

i can't think of anything to say that's not bitter or depressing.

I basically hope to find more things to tell my sister how nuts she is.

After I reluctantly got back together with my old girlfriend, I admit to looking through her phone to see if she was still talking to the guy she was hanging around with while we were separated. She was, and it wouldn't stop. So I left her for good because she couldn't get over it. It helped then. But it's not something I'd do now. What you're referring to is extreme though. If she's that paranoid about it then she needs to call it a day. It's hard to see that when you're in it however.

It isn't always that easy. I was with a guy for YEARS and I got the gut feeling he was cheating on me. I asked him and he denied it of course. So yeah, I looked into it myself. Figured out who the girl was and approached her. She didn't know about me either.

But after putting so much into that relationship I wasn't willing to end it and wanted to make things work out. I spent YEARS thinking we were doing just that and all the while he continued to cheat on me.

Something like that will really fuck you up. It has entirely changed the person I am. I will NEVER deal with ANY of that kind of bullshit again.

As for your sister, she needs to have "the talk" with him if she wants them to be exclusive. Otherwise, she is jealous to the point of it being unhealthy..

in like 11th grade I went into my girlfriends xanga account to leave her a surprise message, ended up finding a chat transcript of her with a friend of mine talking about how they should be together and she was pretty much agreeing with it and some other stupid shit. I broke up with her that night.

oddly enough the guy she was talking to has been one of my roommate for the past 2 years now. we just laugh about how she was crazy (in a joking and in a she really should get some help type way)

there is also a long story about another ex's myspace profile that she left logged in while staying at my place where after seeing some message I learned that she was wondering if she was lesbian.
none of the girls she hooked up with were ever attractive it was pretty disappointing.

that being said relationships are useless without trust

ditto. I'm nowhere near as dumb but somehow I wish I were...relationships were nicer back then. Now I don't put up with anything. I also don't even entertain the idea of younger girls. Weirdness I tell ya.

Yeah I get jealous or at least I used to but I've never done weird shit like that, if I had a premonition I'd probably do what Jana did though, sorry to hear that Jana, you came out of it okay haha you're still a great person! fuck cheaters, honestly there's no need, if you don't like someone and want to cheat then just break up with them first it's really fucked up to just not give the effort and I don't know I will never be that kind of person and your sister should say hey let's be in a relationship no one else and not worry about it, because that's some stupid shit to dwell on especially if they just started dating, this rant went somewhere right?

I know it's not that easy, but I make it that easy for myself I guess...just cut off the bullshit. I may be young, but I've learned a ton. I've got one failed marriage to prove that I just do not deal with bullshit (not that I'm proud of it, but a big part of the failure was a lingering trust issue)...

I would never cheat on anyone and would only want to be with someone that truly trusts me enough to trust my word and vice versa...but being able to make sure you have that trust is the difficult part I guess.

I had never been a jealous person until that relationship, and for good reason. The feeling makes me literally sick. Yeah, I'm doing awesome now but I wasn't for years afterwards. A lot of healing and growing happened since then.

If it makes you feel any better, when I got cheated on she broke up with me and I was like what the fuck? then I find out the reason was that she cheated and felt bad, fucking nymphos.

That is one of the lamest cop outs ever.

I have never, and would never spy or go through my girlfriends/ex's phone history. The closest thing i've ever done like this would be I checked my friends myspace, she was like a sister to me and we knew literally everything about each other so she was without a computer for a couple months so I talked to people for her through her myspace but I guess that doesn't count since she asked me to.

http://www.nocheatersdate.com

I think Jana's sitation and Erica's sister are VERY different. But I know that if a guy was doing what Erica's sister is doing, people would flip their shit about it way more. And probably for good reason, that kind of obsessive behavior can lead to worse things.

Erica, how old is your sister? It's not healthy relationship behavior at any age, but if she's real young, it might explain a little, just make sure she grows up.



now if we want to get into all sort of other ancient scars, I've got my fair share of hurt and betrayals, but as far as I know, I've never actually been cheated on. Pretty close though.


but I guess in a way, I'm still cheating on my first girlfriend, since we never actually broke up. We lived about two hours away from each other, so most of our 17 year old romance was done by phone. (this was pre-internet) She started to get real busy, and I couldn't get a hold of her very often, so I figured I'd wait until she called me. After a month of no contact, I decided it was over, and started dating someone else. A couple of weeks later, she called me, and I felt sort of like a deer in the headlights, and just acted like everything was normal. Then I never heard from her again.

we had a mutual friend who somehow heard a few months later that she was dating her manager at Hardy's. And years later, when I was working at the blood bank, scheudling appointments, I talked to her dad, and I told him to say hi for me.