OK, the guys at No Idea let me know that this year anyone who wants to purchase Fest tickets must first pass a Gainesville trivia test. The Scene means more to me than life itself, so I am here to do my part. I am going to begin submitting questions to this site for your review between now and October. Here is this week's batch:

1) “Var Thelin” is:
a) The sound a sheep makes when it explodes
b) IKEA’s new line of gay-friendly home furnishings
c) Norwegian for “stop molesting my reindeer!”
d) A nerd with a record label and a bunch of Star Wars toys

2) The “Salty Dog” is:
a) Menu item #13 at Chinee Takee Outee
b) A Dirty Sanchez followed by a Cleveland Steamer - while your grandparents cheer you on
c) The Flogging Molly cover band that played your “coming out” party
d) Where you went to get beer after the Hardback’s plumbing made you sick

3) Finish the phrase, “What the hell,…”
a) “…everyone else is sticking one of these up their butts. Why not me?”
b) “…are these bugs on your snatch? OUCH!!!”
c) “…it’s ROACH MOTEL!”
d) “…ever since I ate Krishna lunch, I can’t get a hard on.”

4) “Caribbean Spice” is:
a) Your gay alias on MySpace
b) The doctor’s funny nickname for the warts on your genitals after your cruise to Jamaica
c) A great new strain of weed from Micanopy
d) A girl from Gainesville who was kicked out of the Spice Girls for “bending it with Beckham.”

5) “When Puberty Strikes” is:
a) The time when most catholic priests lose interest in altar boys
b) The time when most straight-edgers start getting boozed and stoned
c) The time when straight-edgers start getting altar boys boozed and stoned
d) A cool band featuring dudes who no longer live in Gainesville

E-mail me for the answer's to this week's questions. If I am not too busy making sweet love to a McRib sandwich, I will get back to you promptly.

The Hoff!

Haha, apparently everyone is too frightened to reply.

You know I know the answers.

hahah. Man the Caribbean Spice one is too funny. The "what the hell" could go so many ways, but Ill shoot for Plaza of the Americas Krishna food.
On the other hand, doesn't Buddy still live in Gville (when puberty strikes question?)?
oh and the salty dog jumped the shark about 8 years ago.

I found a transgendered midget in a Gainesville women's bathroom now that city commission passed a free for all sex-pass. Want in?

why has no one yet sadi that Roach Motel should play The Fest this year?

1d (bonus points for pronouncing it correctly)
2d (bonus points for the location)
3c (bonus points for singing it)
4c (bonus points for sharing it)
5d (bonus points for naming one member)...other than buddy

Yes, he does indeed. He's just on tour a lot.

Jana,
Take pics of Tiltwheel this weekend and the awesomness that Ninja Gun will be! Ima be in Costa Rica for 2 weeks. (I know, boo hoo right!?)

That's like me saying I was bummed missed Mudhoney recently because I was too busy riding vintage trains to the Grand Canyon.

But yeah, I will be at Ninja Gun for sure, Tiltwheel maybe. I can't really afford the gas and I may not have a place to stay in town. And may need to be there on Sunday to shoot Ninja Gun. Don't know if I can be there 3 days in a row.

Oh, and sometimes I just want to just drink and hangout... not take pretty pics.

why did I think you were more local? where is it that you drive from?
If i see you next time, ill help you put the camera down and buy ya a drink. or earplugs. WHAAAAT!?

Buddy still lives in town. He's my roommate.

I was going to leave that up to you to mention.

Man, I WAS wearing earplugs that night. I always have them with me. I have a box of literally 2000 pairs in my car and keep a coiple pair in my camera bag. I've had too many damn half-deaf boyfriends. I know better than that. I hadn't been to a show in over a month and I wasn't ready for it I guess. It was only one ear too, weird. And Boris wasn't even that loud.

But yeah, let's just say I live an hour from Gville in the country. I prefer not to say where. I did live in Gville for 16 years and I'm still there a lot, so that's why most people don't realize I don't live there. With gas the way it is though now, I'm going to have to cut way back on shows and that REALLY sucks. I'll start hearing "did you move?" again and have to explain I don't live there in the first place.

End Rant.

I hear you on that Salty Dog. I went in there drunk one night because it sounded cool and I was surrounded by undesirables. It was shit city.

gotcha jana, WHAT!?
haha pfft

Jana you can stay at my house Saturday. We will snuggle. We can make a Mark sandwich.

or there's the couch, either way.