Jeez,

You people need to relax.

Back in the day, No Idea used to be all about fun times and dumb jokes about seal fucking. Now you are all about deleting my ridiculous posts as soon as they go up.

Lighten up.

I STILL MAKE LOVE TO SEALS AND WALRUSES!!!!!!!

Hasselhoff

i didnt delete, i was actually bummed it got deleted.

Well in that case...

I MAKE LOVE TO SEALS AND WALRUSES

Don’t pretend like you’ve never fantasized about it…the sound of that sweet blubber going “thwappity thwap thwap” on the sand underneath your manhood.

See, a few years ago, I was on the set of Baywatch (episode #47, “Hobie’s First School Play”) and we were wrapping up a shoot at the aquarium in Santa Monica. Seeing all of those seals blowing on the horns got me real hot…and a huge bulge started to develop in my shorts. So, after the rest of the crew went home for the night, I snuck back in to the seal pen and put my horn at the end of the row for a blow.

Mama mia!!! At first the sardine juice stung a bit, but then it got me even more hot! Kind of like a bit of wasabi on my cucumber roll, if you know what I mean.

Think this is wrong? Don’t hassle the ‘Hoff!! I’ve got news for you…sailors have been making sweet love to pinnipeds (a.k.a. “mermaids”) for centuries. You haven’t lived until you have flogged a harbor seal while a dominant male walrus has his way with your posterior. The tusk marks on the back of my neck are way cooler than any tattoos you punks will ever get.

If the good Lord didn’t want us to make love to seals and walruses, he would have given them legs so they could run away.

So remember, “When you see a flipper, down goes your zipper.”

That's disgusting!!!! I'm not coming to Fest this year if perverts like you are gonna be running around. I'm hardcore vegan straight-edge and its people like you who give punk rock a bad name. Remember this anthem

"I'm a person just like you
But I've got better things to do
Than sit around and give a walrus head
Hang out with the living dead
Fuck white seals in the snow
Pass out at the shows
I don't even think about speed
That's something I just don't need

I've got the straight edge"