I had to go to the doctor's office the other day. See, I was just standing there in the shower and, the next thing you know, I slipped and fell and a shampoo bottle went straight up my butt and I couldn't remove it myself. When I got to the doctor's office, the doctor pulled my medical file and we found old X-rays of the following items that were previously lodged in my anus:

1) Jay Buzzela's Microphone
2) Bill O'Reilly's New Book
3) Var's Star Wars Figures
4) Karl Rove AND Scott McClellan ("SWORD FIGHT!!!")
5) A Summer Squash
6) Gumby
7) An Apollo 11 Rocket Replica
8 (Former Director of Homeland Security) Tom Ridge's Forearm
9) Kim Jong Il's Whip
10) The Olympic Torch
11) Reverend Ted Haggard's Meth Stash
12) WMD's
13) A 55-gallon drum of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter"
14) Stone Henge
15) Simon Cowell

Let's Start A "Things That Have Gotten Stuck Up My Butt" Thread!

this thread could be better

I once had a ping pong paddle shoved up my ass. I've been shitting pancakes ever since.

I pooped out blood & my doctor put an anal scope in my bum once, it wasn't the best feeling but far from the worst

Hey Hoff, are you the man behind "Potatoes & Jelly"?

after i watched the fat albert movie i shit out pudding cups for 3 weeks i guess they had been in my ass for a hot puddiny minute

I think this Hasselhoff guy was on rotten.com once.